Written by Elizabeth Cairns, Mobilize Recovery Special Projects, and reviewed by Code Recover Peer Advisors, August 2026

Peer recovery support specialist Spencer Costello talks about how showing a patient you care about their well being can help them connect to resources even if they aren't ready now.

In peer support, your lived experience is one of your most powerful tools for building trust. However, when you are helping a patient navigate a crisis, sharing your story requires a strategic approach. The goal of sharing is to show the patient that recovery is possible and that they are not alone; but the focus should remain on what will benefit the patient, and not focus too much on your past stories and experiences. Striking a balance between sharing to establish trust and keeping the focus on the patient is an important but subtle skill.

How to Decide What to Share

Before you disclose any part of your history, ask yourself: How will this specific detail help the patient right now? or Is this information being shared to benefit me or to benefit the patient?

• Safe Sharing: Focusing on shared feelings (fear, hopelessness, the pain of withdrawal) and the hope of your "now."
• Unsafe Sharing: Focusing on graphic details of past use, specific trauma, or legal troubles that might trigger the patient or make them feel like their situation isn't "bad enough" to seek help.

Balance Listening and Sharing 80/20

A good peer interaction should be about 80% listening and 20% sharing. When you do share, keep it brief and transition back to the patient immediately.

Try this: "I remember that feeling of thinking I’d never get through the first 24 hours without using. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but starting buprenorphine changed that for me. Have you ever thought about what your first 24 hours of feeling stable might look like?"

What to Keep Private

While you may think of yourself as an open book regarding your recovery, you are also a professional member of a clinical team. It is usually best to keep the following private:

• Specifics of "How": Never share names of past dealers, specific locations of use, or methods that could inadvertently provide ideas or triggers to someone in active use.
• Current Struggles: If you are having a hard day in your own recovery, the patient’s bedside is not the place to process it. Reach out to your supervisor or your own support network after your shift.
• Graphic Trauma: Sharing intense details of past violence or overdose can cause "secondary trauma" for the patient, who is already in a vulnerable state.

When Connection Doesn’t Happen

Not every patient wants to hear your story. Some may feel it’s unprofessional, or they may simply be in too much pain to listen. If you offer a piece of your experience and the patient doesn't lean in or respond, pull back. You can build a bridge through empathy and logistics (like helping them find a ride) without ever needing to discuss your own history. Your presence as a healthy, helpful professional is often a stronger testimony than any story you could tell.